Amazerating! Monkey Stomp!

I have a new quest: add awesome words to the English language. It usually takes years or being a celebrity (Sarah Palin and 'refudiate'). I will use Merchant Circle to advance this quest.

A word and phrase for your consideration: 'Amazerating'. The meaning is very impressive, something a few steps beyond amazing, and increasing in its influence. For example: "My son just learned how to read. He is picking up Latin as he learns. Amazerating!" Or "I troubleshot a burned receptacle and corrected two other electrical problems at the same time. Amazerating!"
So far, I have only used it to describe my granddaughter.

Monkey Stomp has been around for awhile, but I saw it illustrated recently. Picture a surly, baboon attacking a man, picking him up, flinging him on the ground, then jumping repeatedly on the victim's chest. The whole assault is punctuated by wild screams and hand gestures. I would not advise using Monkey Stomp casually. A great example would be "That teenager just totally disrespected his ex-Army Ranger father. I hear a Monkey Stomping on the way".

ABR Electric: Electrician for Allen, Frisco, McKinney and Plano with amazerating service to include troubleshooting, lighting, breakers, home offices, flat screen televisions.

Do it right, make a positive memory and have fun!

Can't Lose 'Em, Can't Stand 'Em

You guessed it: I am talking about pets, specifically old, blind, deaf, willful dachshunds.
For those who hoped I would be wading through the swamp of marriage to answer spousal issues - not a chance. I feel sane today.

So, here's the dealio: it turns out that our low-slung beast has diabetes. Shotzi had been feverishly drinking water all day long and then, with the restraint of a puppy, watering the carpet several times a day and night. Although I am a patient man, day two of this had me considering the 'lead vitamin' for our beloved pet (one treatment cures 'em forever).

We opted to take her to visit the vet. I don't want to do that again. Ever. It smells bad. They had cats wandering loose, tormenting the incontinent dogs. Plus other people's pets are weird...I'm just sayin'. Not normal like Shotzi.

We are praying for healing. While we're waiting on the miracle, I bond with the beast twice a day giving her insulin shots. She has recovered her lost lbs (she had dropped about 30% of her weight in two weeks).

The catch is this: while pondering the possibility of putting her down, I was at the verge of tears. I am positive this dog has grayed my hair as much as any of my kids, but the thought of her being gone just tore me up. 24 hours later, she is on the mend, and eating toilet paper rolls and incessantly begging for food. Absolutely driving me crazy! I'm thinking the lead vitamin was cheaper and easier.

Shotzi has a few good years left in her. I'll commute her sentence and see if she can't amaze me in the meantime.