To A Boy With A Hammer, Everything Is A Nail

This title elicits 3 responses:

1. A sigh, a grin and "Yep" - you are probably a veteran mother of the CLAR wars.

2. A loud guffaw, and then reminiscing about the worst beating you ever got from your mom - you are likely a grown male (think: windows, white walls and heirlooms).

3. Questions: "Why does the boy have a hammer? Can he swallow the nail? Who took him to the hardware store? How can everything be a nail?" - you are either a mother with only girls or an expectant mom who has fed at the table of talk show wisdom. You are in for a ride.

You see, to the little boy, the hammer is everything. The hammer is magic: it impacts and makes a fantastic sound. It reduces a large object into several smaller objects, multiplying his collection of toys. A draws instant attention from his mother. The hammer strikes fear into smaller siblings and animals. In leadership parlance, it is a change agent. Whatever is touched by it can never be the same. What is the 'appropriate' nail isn't even on the radar. How can something so good be limited to Dad's nails? It works on sister's dolls, furniture, dirt, Fluffy, windows, walls, flower pots, fingers (not his), and who knows what else once the hammer mojo is flowing. It is for him now what skate boards, girls, power tools, education and money will be for him in the future.

I am certain that most mothers from response #3 are frantically searching right now to see if they can determine the gender of their children fbefore they are born. "Please God, no boys or hammers!" Ease up, sister. Grab a paper bag and take a seat. Don't hide the hammers. Talk to the smiling lady from response #1 who talks quietly but scares teenage boys. I remember my mom being like this. She raised 3 sons and a daughter. She had the CLAR Eye: it's like the Eye of the Tiger, but really, really scary. It's the look in the eyes of the vet who is walking point again in his mind. You don't mess with that.

My wife has perfected this look. Her playful, beautiful eyes transform to the souless stare of a hungry shark. It gives the boys the heebie-jeebies. I know this because they grin like fools and try to be cute and affectionate. Too late. There is blood in the water. Judgment Day.

You see, young moms, the secret is not 'The Look' itself. It is action. You cannot stop a train with a lecture and you cannot reason the wind to blow another way. Your future CEO, builder, athlete, inventor, musician is wired to act, create, and change things. My boys knew that the Look was not a promise or a threat. It was the precursor of swift and ruthless action. It was the promised consequence to the admonished behavior. And get this. Action requires much less time and energy than lecturing and reasoning.

The issue is not the hammer. It's action, will and joy. You can teach your hammer wielder to share, to build, to work, to bless.

Mom, go get your boy a hammer. A big one.