Whose Gold Star Do You Need?

I recently heard a commercial office staffer bitterly complaining that she had to help a residential client in the office. The staffer had gone to extraordinary lengths to meet the client, ask clarifying questions, and share ideas that saved the client gobs of money. The irony is that at the end of the sales process, the client wanted to deal with another staffer in the office. The staffer had done nothing wrong as far as I could tell.

"That's why I don't like dealing with residential customers!" she wailed. This, in spite of the fact that she helped other residential customers the same way. The only difference was that they appreciated her.

I asked her why she had gone to such lengths to help this client. She wasn't sure why. I suggested that it was because that was the kind of person she was. She did a fantastic job. Her attention to detail, follow up and generally looking out for the client's well-being was exceptional. The customer simply didn't acknowledge it.

She was down because she was not validated by the customer. She needed that gold star to feel good about her service. She felt zero pride in her efforts because the client had not recognized them as well.

Many of us are excellent parents, mechanics, doctors, artists, dog walkers or conversationalists. I am regularly surprised at the level of competence and skill in otherwise ordinary people. We are excellent whether or not it is acknowledged. You know it. God knows it.

It is important to be soberly confident in ourselves. Otherwise, we are handing the keys to our happiness to everyone around us, hoping they will unlock the door of praise and acclaim. Do good and admit it. Let others share your opinion if they choose. It is a twisted kind of pride to allow one negative comment spoil the multitude of encouragements and compliments. It is in effect saying "If I don't receive 100% of what I want, I will receive none of it".

Are you excellent or not? You need to decide. Others can confirm it, but they can undermine it as well. You alone answer for your life and you alone can choose to be happy.